Every once in a while life gives you those precious moments that make all the insanity you deal with fade away and unimportant. Today I was lucky enough to get quite a few of those. My work with the education animals is to get them trained to the point of being able to go and participate in the educational programs we provide for school children. Today I got the opportunity to observe/conduct one of the programs. I am a little nervous since I have never done anything like this and am not quite sure what to expect. I get to the center to meet the head educator, Melinda, and collect the animals we are taking for transportation. I made the mistake of asking how many children would be attending. Imagine my shock/horror when she replied ‘one hundred fifty’. One...hund....HUH...one hundred fifty children?? I suddenly had mental images of a coup of little people tying us to the trees and throwing things, and she in what I am sure was supposed to be a reassuring voice says “oh, there will be parents and teachers as well” WHAT!!! The nation of little children paled in frightfulness to the thought of menacing teachers and parents glaring during the presentation. Inside I am doing the little inner pep talk....’you can handle this, piece of cake, think of the scary stuff you have done - this is nothing...’ then someone says, and they will all have cameras. Nation of children, menacing parents and teachers, now CAMERAS?!?!? You have to be kidding me. I hide from those things any time I get the chance. If you see me in a picture it was most definitely taken without my knowledge. About this time I am wondering just what the hell I got myself into. Almost afraid to, I ask which animals we are taking and I am pleased to report the box turtle and the screech owl. THANK GOD none of the snakes! They tend to like to strike me and I haven’t quite gotten over that trauma. Melinda mentions the box turtle, Pug, has been ‘peeing’ on her regularly in programs. It actually is a defense mechanism for the worried turtle, so I make a mental note to keep her feeling secure while held...and point the back end away from my body. Great....nation of kids, menacing parents, cameras, and a peeing turtle....what could possibly go wrong here??

We drive to Mount Shepherd which is actually a religious camp – and quite expansive I might add! They had a huge lake, large diving platform, rock wall, log cabins, and I am sure plenty more stuff we didn’t see driving in! I find out our program is going to be held in the parking lot. Parking lot? Huh? Apparently no one room large enough for ONE HUNDRED FIFTY KIDS and adults. We are waiting for them to all arrive and ‘entertaining’ the questions of the kids already seated. It turns out to be a group of 3rd to 5th graders and they had TONS of questions. While we were talking, one of them spotted a spider on the curb behind us. Apparently all these children that really hoped we had brought a snake...were terrified of spiders. Melinda tried to calm their fears by saying if she was having a cookout she would love to have spiders to keep away some of the things she wouldn’t want around...apparently this was too vague an explanation as there was a little timid voice from the middle of the crowd that said ‘like really mean people?”. I love how kids’ minds work! Suddenly the mob of children looked a lot less scary! Once they all arrived and the program began, it was not scary one bit! It was a bit strange to have that many people yelling “Hi Wendy” and waving, though. We all had fun (kids and education animals included). I am pleased to report no turtle bombs either! While I was standing with Pug, two of the little children in the front were whispering to each other and I was ignoring them, when one abruptly stopped me and said ‘there is a spider on your pants’ while pointing dramatically. It was just a daddy longlegs so I scooped him up and placed him behind me on the curb and went back to the program. The two kids looked at me in sheer horror and the little girl shakes her head and mutters ‘you are CRAZY’. In case you are wondering, it took only 10 minutes for that conclusion to be drawn. (Who says kids are not smart?) About every other kid had a camera and all the adults in the back did as well, so no doubt somewhere in cyberspace are pictures of a deer-eyed Wendy and Pug the box turtle. The screech owl was a big hit, but suddenly in the program went into a sheer panic attack. Turns out there was a hawk soaring and circling above the parking lot and she thought she was about to be lunch! We put her up and she clung to the inside of that crate like she was superglued to it! As the program was wrapping up, there were screeches from two girls in the front as they scooted back away from...you guessed it...a spider. Melinda was bending down to get it when one of the boys behind them valiantly leaned in, too. Then, SPLAT! The camp director shook his head and said ‘we still have a ways to go’ and all I could do was laugh while Melinda looked on in shock and disbelief. We loaded up the animals and the kids formed lines on either side of the vehicle as we drove out waving and yelling bye to us. I was afraid of this??? It turns out the parents and teachers were not so scary after all either, I think they just appreciated a moments rest from herding children.

__________________
...but I don't want to be alligator bait

Hmm. Okay, I won't say that I'm jealous of the work you're doing, but I will say PPPPPBBBBBBTTTTTTTT! That is SO cool! My only observation as an outsider is that, at every falconry meet I've ever been to, owlers are not welcome as their charges tend to prey on the other raptors. It's interesting that your screech owl was nervous about being food for another bird of prey.

So, when can I come be your assistant and handle the more exciting critters, like the daddy-long-legs?

__________________
You can't run away from karma.

Support independent film: Buy Jessica Stover's book.

Well, the screech owl is the size of a little rabbit - doubt it could do much damage to most of the falconry birds.

And,

<warning, rant coming>

you can HAVE my fucking 'job'. Nothing like going above and beyond, giving over EIGHT TIMES the requirements, putting in the required six months of service, yada yada yada, only to find out they changed the 'rules' but no one let you know, just one day you walk in and find out the animal your poured yourself into training, you no longer get to train. AND as if that was not bad enough, fucking rattle off some bullshit rationalization that can be disproven so fucking fast it is unreal.

not that I am bitter


I AM FUCKING PISSED


Whew, that feels better!

__________________
...but I don't want to be alligator bait

Thats a Funny story. Made me chuckle more than once.

Thanks for the compliment

__________________
...but I don't want to be alligator bait